{download Textbooks} Die schreckliche deutsche SpracheAuthor Mark Twain – Albawater.co

Geistreich, treffsicher und wunderbar humorvoll Ungeordnet und unsystematisch sei sie, schl pfrig, ganz und gar unfassbar jene schreckliche deutsche Sprache, ber die der gro e Mark Twain sich in seinem gleichnamigen Essay auf ebenso spitzfindige wie treffsichere Weise ereifert Kaum eine Eigenart des Deutschen ist vor seinem Spott sicher So muss es sich wohl um ein bedauerliches Versehen des Erfinders jener Sprache handeln, dass die Frau weiblich ist, das Weib aber nicht Ein stets aufs Neue unterhaltsames St ck Literatur geistvoll, witzig und im besten Wortsinn lehrreich


10 thoughts on “Die schreckliche deutsche Sprache

  1. ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣ ☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~ ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣ says:

    Q To continue with the German genders a tree is male, its buds are female, its leaves are neuter horses are sexless, dogs are male, cats are female, Tom cats included, of course a person s mouth, neck, bosom, elbows, fingers, nails, feet, and body are of the male sex, and his head is male or neuter according to the word selected to signify it, and not according to the sex of the individual who wears it, for in Germany all the women wear either male heads or sexless ones a person s nose, li Q To continue with the German genders a tree is male, its buds are female, its leaves are neuter horses are sexless, dogs are male, cats are female, Tom cats included, of course a person s mouth, neck, bosom, elbows, fingers, nails, feet, and body are of the male sex, and his head is male or neuter according to the word selected to signify it, and not according to the sex of the individual who wears it, for in Germany all the women wear either male heads or sexless ones a person s nose, lips, shoulders, breast, hands, and toes are of the female sex and his hair, ears, eyes, chin, legs, knees, heart, and conscience haven t any sex at all The inventor of the language probably got what he knew about a conscience from hearsay c Q For instance, my book inquires after a certain bird it is always inquiring after things which are of no sort of consequence to anybody Where is the bird Now the answer to this question according to the book is that the bird is waiting in the blacksmith shop on account of the rain Of course no bird would do that, but then you must stick to the book c Q When a German gets his hands on an adjective, he declines it, and keeps on declining it until the common sense is all declined out of it It is as bad as Latin He says, for instance SINGULARNominative Mein guter Freund, my good friend.Genitives Meines guten Freundes, of my good friend.Dative Meinem guten Freund, to my good friend.Accusative Meinen guten Freund, my good friend.PLURALN Meine guten Freunde, my good friends.G Meiner guten Freunde, of my good friends.D Meinen guten Freunden, to my good friends.A Meine guten Freunde, my good friends.Now let the candidate for the asylum try to memorize those variations, and see how soon he will be elected One might better go without friends in Germany than take all this trouble about them c Q Some German words are so long that they have a perspective Observe these examples Freundschaftsbezeigungen.Dilettantenaufdringlichkeiten.Stadtverordnetenversammlungen.These things are not words, they are alphabetical processions And they are not rare one can open a German newspaper at any time and see them marching majestically across the page and if he has any imagination he can see the banners and hear the music, too They impart a martial thrill to the meekest subject I take a great interest in these curiosities Whenever I come across a good one, I stuff it and put it in my museum In this way I have made quite a valuable collection When I get duplicates, I exchange with other collectors, and thus increase the variety of my stock Here rare some specimens which I lately bought at an auction sale of the effects of a bankrupt bric a brac hunter Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen.Alterthumswissenschaften.Kinderbewahrungsanstalten.Unabh ngigkeitserkl rungen.Wiedererstellungbestrebungen.Waffenstillstandsunterhandlungen c Q And eighthly, and last, I would retain Zug and Schlag, with their pendants, and discard the rest of the vocabulary This would simplify the language c


  2. Jon Nakapalau Jon Nakapalau says:

    Now I know why my German is so bad Thanks to Mark Twain I now see it is not my fault Seriously a long lost gem of humor that I was glad to find.


  3. Matt Matt says:

    Depending on your knowledge of German or your interest in learning it you may find this piece hilarious, repelling, or attractive and compelling Either way it s a good read and I was ROFL while, well, after I read it.Online Versions PDF English The Awful German LanguageGerman Die f rchterliche deutsche Sprache Depending on your knowledge of German or your interest in learning it you may find this piece hilarious, repelling, or attractive and compelling Either way it s a good read and I was ROFL while, well, after I read it.Online Versions PDF English The Awful German LanguageGerman Die f rchterliche deutsche Sprache


  4. Ines Ines says:

    I love my mother tounge This essay dwells on all those little absurdities that make it so loveable If you learn German, read it, you will find a soulmate in your difficulties If you are German, read it, it makes you feel grateful that you don t have to learn it


  5. Georg Georg says:

    Though the book is really funny and entertaining it is hard not to contradict Twain s complaint against the inventor of the German language shows that he never had to learn his own language like I did Klar ist das Buch komisch und unterhaltsam,, aber ich kann doch nicht widerstehen, ihm zu widersprechen Twains Angriffe gegen den Erfinder der deutschen Sprache lassen deutlich erkennen, dass er seine eigene Sprache nie selber richtig lernen musste.Admittedly Der die das instead of the the th Though the book is really funny and entertaining it is hard not to contradict Twain s complaint against the inventor of the German language shows that he never had to learn his own language like I did Klar ist das Buch komisch und unterhaltsam,, aber ich kann doch nicht widerstehen, ihm zu widersprechen Twains Angriffe gegen den Erfinder der deutschen Sprache lassen deutlich erkennen, dass er seine eigene Sprache nie selber richtig lernen musste.Admittedly Der die das instead of the the the makes it a little bit difficult But most European languages have grammatical genders and, as so often in linguistic matters you should not look for logic Why is there no plural to information and no singular to shambles Ok, der die das muss man eben dazu lernen Ist in anderen europ ischen Sprachen au er Englisch auch nicht anders Und Logik sollte man in der Linguistik nicht erwarten Im Englischen gibt s keinen Plural von information und keinen Singular von shambles.True, there are severla meaning of the words Zug and Schlag Look into your dictionary to count the meanings of shift and pitch Let alone verbs like put , get or take Richtig Zug und Schlag haben verschiedene Bedeutungen Aber das ist nichts im Vergleich zu shift and pitch Von Verben wie put , get und take wollen wir gar nicht erst anfangen.Verb clutters like h tte sein werden k nnen sein are no German speciality I wouldn t have been going to is not muchclearly laid out Verbengewitter wie h tte sein werden k nnen sein gibt s auch im Englischen I wouldn t have been going to ist nur ein Beispiel.The words are too long I surrepticiously find this observation a little preposterous and saturninely avuncular Zu lang die W rter Den Vorwurf finde ich surreptiociously a little preposterous and saturninely avuncular.Twain is a fair player and also finds some credit for the German language At least you always know how to pronounce a word that you read somewhere But there is oneadvantage German makes no difference between adjectives and adverbs No good well , kind kindly and so on Aber Twain ist auch fair und verteilt Lob So wei man wenigstens auf Anhieb, wie man ein deutsches Wort ausspricht, das man liest, aber eines vergisst er zu erw hnen Im Deutschen mauss man nicht zu jedem Adjektiv noch ein Adverb dazulernen.Conclusion Twain A gifted person ought t learn English in thirty hours, French in thrity days, and German in thirty years Conclusion moi myself F r Deutsch habe ich 24 Monate gebraucht, f r ein halbwegs passables Franz sisch 24 Jahre, und Englisch Ich sag Bescheid, wenn ich s wei.


  6. Arthur Thomas Arthur Thomas says:

    One of the funniest essays ever written.


  7. Soobie& Soobie& says:

    I really don t know which language I should write this in The edition I ve read was bilingual and I took the chance to savor some German with a useful facing page translation In addition, it should be easier writing about German grammar in German To settle things once and for all, you ll find an English Review below the German one.Also Dank GR habe ich dies B chlein entdeckt Ich wusste nicht, dass Mark Twain versuchte, Deutsch zu lernen Seiner Meinung nach ist Deutsch eine Sprache, die I really don t know which language I should write this in The edition I ve read was bilingual and I took the chance to savor some German with a useful facing page translation In addition, it should be easier writing about German grammar in German To settle things once and for all, you ll find an English Review below the German one.Also Dank GR habe ich dies B chlein entdeckt Ich wusste nicht, dass Mark Twain versuchte, Deutsch zu lernen Seiner Meinung nach ist Deutsch eine Sprache, die man bei den toten Sprachen absetzen muss , denn nur die Toten haben Zeit, sie zu lernen Twain lernte aber die Deutsche Sprache nur f r neun Wochen, bevor er dies B chlein geschrieben hatte Das kann ich nicht verstehen Das ist zu kurz Ich habe n mlich 4 4 Jahren an Deutsch gewidmet und ich liebe es, weil ich denke, dass es ein sehr, sehr logische Sprache ist Viel logischer als English Aber Twain f hrt fort Meine philologischen Studien haben mich davon berzeugt, da ein begabter Mann English ausgenommen Rechtsschreibung und Aussprache in drei ig Stunden lernen kann, Franz sisch in drei ig Tagen und Deutsch in drei ig Jahren.Auf der ersten Seite schreibt Twain Ganz bestimmt gibt es keine andere Sprache, die so ungeordnet und unsystematisch, so schl pfrig und unfa bar ist und er z hlt neun Merkmale der Sprache auf, die er als problematisch h lt Die sind Ausnahme Man lernt eine neue grammatische Regel, man liest ein Paar Beispiele, dann bl ttert man um und sieht man eine lange Liste von Ausnahme F lle F lle verwirren armen Twain Er versteht nicht, warum man den Dativ f r Bewegung und den Akkusativ f r Zustand benutzen muss Parenthesen deutsche Schriftsteller schreiben S tze, die zu lange sind Man beginnt mit dem Lesen aber, als man das Ende erreicht, hat man den Anfang schon vergessen Trennbaren Verben Man trennt deutsche Verben die Wurzel steht am Anfang und die Pr position kommt erst am Ende Der Leser kann nochmal vergessen, wie der Satz beginnt und wie er endet Personalpronomen Twain mag nicht das Pronomen sie, weil er denkt, dass es zu viele bersetzungen auf English hat Als ob you auf English nur eine Bedeutung h tte Deklination der Adjektiven Am Anfang war es ein harter Job, sie zu lernen aber dann Es hilft den Leser, als er einen Fall erkennen muss Genus Twain wundert, warum alle Dinge ein zuf lliges Genus aber soll Aber die Deutsche, die Italiener, die Spanier alle wundern, warum English kein Genus hat Und die Italiener und die Spanier, sie sind ber froh, weil die Endung der W rter zeigt, zu welchem Genus es geh rt W rter mit nlicher Bedeutung Seiner Meinung nach kann das ganze deutsche Sprache auf zwei W rter reduzieren Schlag und Zug Als ob to get nur eine Bedeutung h tte Komposita Komposita sind lange W rter, die aus viele zusammengestellten W rtern bestehen Ja, jeder Tag schafft jemand ein neues Kompositum und das erscheint niemals in den W rterb cher aber sie sind so typisch DeutschIch bin nicht v llig mit Twain einverstanden, weil einige Bemerkungen sind echt dumm Genus, zum Beispiel Ich bin Italienerin und ich finde es sehr schwer, wenn ich das Pronomen it auf English benutzen muss Ab und zu, als ich zum Beispiel ber Computer spreche, sage ich I have a new computer I bought him yesterday F r mich ein Computer ist immer he, auch auf English.Was die Ausnahmen betrifft Was Twain sagt, ist total verr ckt Sprachen sind lebendig und sie entwickeln sich st nding Alle Sprachen haben Regeln und alle Sprachen haben eine Menge Ausnahme Die Sprachen, die sich nicht entwickeln, sind die tote Sprachen Vielleicht hat Esperanto keine Ausnahme aber das gilt nicht, weil es eine k nstliche Sprache ist.Im Gegensatz zu Twain liebe ich die F lle Aber nur auf Deutsch Auf Lateinisch, auf Polnisch und auf Russisch habe ich immer mit F llen gek mpft Ich wei nicht warum Aber auf Deutsch scheint sie immer, sehr leicht zu sein F lle helfen um die Rolle der W rter in einem Satz zu erkennen und man kann auch mit einer Angabe einen Satz beginnen und man kann sich nicht verwirren.Ich lerne gerade Franz sisch und die Personalpronomen auf Franz sisch sind ein Chaos Im Vergleich sind deutsche Personalpronomen das einfachste Thema der Grammatik Thanks to GR I ve discovered this little book I didn t know that Mark Twain tried to learn German In his opinion, however, German is a language that ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it Aber Twain had been learning German only for nine weeks, when he wrote this pamphlet I really can t understand this In fact I ve spent 4 4 years learning German and I love the language because I fell in love with its logic German is a very logic language, waylogic than English Twain didn t agree with me My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English barring spelling and pronunciation in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years.On the first page Twain writes Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp and later he lists nine characteristics of the language that he deems problematic They are Exceptions According to Twain, in German you learn a new grammar rule and you read a pair of examples Then you turn the page and you found a page long list of exceptions Cases Twain is confused by grammar cases Nominative, Accusative, Dative and Genitive He can t understand why you must use dative for movement and accusative for staying Parentheses German writers write sentences that are too long When the reader starts to read, s he ll be likely to have forgotten the beginning by the time s he reaches the end of the sentence Separable verbs Some German verbs can be separated the radical remains at the beginning of the sentence on the second position , while the prefix comes only at the end Again the read can forget, how the sentence starts and how it ends Personal pronouns Twain genuinely dislikes the German pronoun sie because he thinks that it has too many translations into English As if the English you only has one meaning Declension of adjectives For Twain it s completely useless and confusing and yeah, it was so difficult to get used to it at the beginning but then It helps the reader when s he has to recognize one case Genus Twain wonders why all things have a casual genus in German At the same time Germans, Italians, Spaniards they all wonder why English doesn t have any genus Further, Italians, Spaniards and Portuguese speakers and also all the Slavic languages speakers, I guess are very happy because it s the word that tells the speaker which genus she word in Italian in a she, for example needs Words with similar meaning According to Twain, German could be reduced to only two words Schlag and As is to get has only one meaning Compound words Compounds are long words that are composed of lots of words put together Yeah, every day someone create a new compound and you can never look them up in the dictionary but theiy re so typisch Deutsch.I don t totally agree with Twain, because some of his comments are really dumb Genus, for example I m Italian born and raised with gendered words and for me it s very difficult using the pronoun it in English Every now and then I genderize English words For example I have a new computer I bought him yesterday For me a computer is always a he, even in English And the printer is always a she For what exceptions are concerned Well, what Twain write is completely crazy Languages are living entities that keep developing Every language has rules and every language has tons of exception The languages that aren t developing are the dead ones Well, maybe Esperanto has no exceptions but it doesn t count since it s an artificial language.Unlike Twain I love cases, but only in German In Latin, Polish and Russian they have always confused me I don t know why In German they always seem easier than in other languages Cases help when you have to recognize which role a word play in a sentence, in addition you can start a sentence with an object and it will always be clear that s an object and not a subject.I ve been learning French for the past 11 months one hour a week and I m pretty sure that French personal pronouns are a mess Compared to them, the German ones are one of the easiest topic in the whole German grammar


  8. Girish Jadhav Girish Jadhav says:

    As an Ausl nder in Germany, I find this hilarious I liked some of the suggestions made by the author, but I m sure that won t be happening anytime soon.


  9. Rajkumar Pagey Rajkumar Pagey says:

    This is a really funny essay.I ve started learning German recently and I can empathize with the writer here.But what bothered me was the fact that I could not understand half of the German text in the book.I ve a long way to go I guess I ll return to this essay when I finish learning the language.


  10. Erin the Avid Reader ⚜BFF& Erin the Avid Reader ⚜BFF& says:

    Hilarious.A culture as rich, intelligent, and fascinating as Germany will of course have a language just as complex and sharing the roots of many Indo Aryan languages such as the ever confusing, all conjugative Sanskrit.Reading this short essay, I found myself nodding in agreement all throughout That Dative case German seems to love is a pain in the kriff Those conjugates Ohmygodtheydonteven makealickofsense I really have no idea how the language evolved to be like this, but Twain showed us Hilarious.A culture as rich, intelligent, and fascinating as Germany will of course have a language just as complex and sharing the roots of many Indo Aryan languages such as the ever confusing, all conjugative Sanskrit.Reading this short essay, I found myself nodding in agreement all throughout That Dative case German seems to love is a pain in the kriff Those conjugates Ohmygodtheydonteven makealickofsense I really have no idea how the language evolved to be like this, but Twain showed us how unique and hilarious it could get It s as if the creators tried mixing Sanskrit with Greek and Latin grammar and genitive structures while adding the complexity of Syrillic esque and Polish pronunciation PAIN IN THE ASS.This essay was amazing Would recommend to anybody looking for laffs and for those looking into German It s made me actually want to start learning it